By Amina Wasi
Bismillah
The Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam was an approachable man to all
those who came to him with their problems and situations. The young and
the old alike came to benefit from his advice and wisdom. Similarly,
there also came those people whose situation revolved around issues
dealing with love. The Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam as mentioned,
recognized love as a natural feeling even if it was not consummated by
marriage provided that it did NOT result into something that was
unlawful or crossed the confines of the Shari’ah and the displeasure of
Allah.
One such story is that of the companion Khansa bint Khadam. Khansa bint
Khadam went to the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam and told him that
that she did not want to marry a particular man that her father forced
on her and she said, “My cousin is more beloved to me."
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya: that her father gave her in
marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she
went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.
At that time, she was a young woman but this did not stop her from
expressing herself in front of the Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam about who she loved! And this man was Ar Rasool salallahu
aleyhi wasallam, the Prophet of Allah. How many young women can feel
this comfortable going to a Shaykh, Imam or Maulana today and express
their love issue to them? Yet, this young woman did not shy away from
telling Ar Rasool salallahu aleyhi wasallam Why? Because, he salallahu
aleyhi wasallam was someone who made everyone feel comfortable enough to
approach him about many facets of life whether it be the rulings of
Salah or an emotional issue of love.
Another story of love is that of Mugeeth and Bareerah radiallahu anhuma.
They are perhaps known famously for their love story. Mugeeth was a
companion who loved Bareerah deeply but Bareerah did not love him back.
After their divorce, she left him. Mugeeth, however, unable to control
his love for her would chase after her in the streets of Madina with
tears flowing down to his beard pleading Bareerah to take him back in
marriage. Can you imagine living in Madina and seeing this scene
unfolding before you? What must have been the reaction of the people of
Madina? What must have been the reaction of the ruler of Madina, the
Prophet of Allah, Ar Rasool salallahu aleyhi wasallam. Mugeeth was not
ridiculed by the companions nor the Sahabah rather he gained sympathy
from them. The Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam observing this
phenomenon turned to his uncle Al Abbas and remarked, “ O Abbas! Isn’t
it amazing how much Mugeeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah hates
Mugheeth?”. Ar Rasool salallahu aleyhi wasallam is making an observance
of this feeling of love.
Being a soft hearted man, the Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam interceded for Mugeeth because of the state he was in. He went
to Bareerah radiallahu anha and asked her if she could take Mugeeth back
in marriage. Bareerah asked,"Are you commanding me or are you just
interceding?" The Prophet said, "I'm interceding." She replied, "If this
is the case, then I don't want him.” After saying no, he did not
attempt to force her because Ar Rasool salallahu aleyhi
wasallam respected a woman’s feelings as he did the man’s. Everyone is
entitled to love or not love who they want and the Prophet salallahu
aleyhi wasallam respected that decision. The Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam being occupied with so many other issues regarding war,
enemies, delegations, family, death still made time to solve an
emotional love problem. He did not just sympathize but interceded to
solve the problem in the best possible manner.
The last story is that of Zaynab radiallahu anha, the eldest daughter of
the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam and her love for her husband Abu'
Al Aas ibn Rabee'. During the migration of the Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam Zaynab was amongst those that stayed behind with her husband
and this was before the verse that Muslims woman should not live with a
Non Muslim man was revealed. Her husband had not accepted Islam yet. So,
Zaynab stayed in Makkah, until the battle of Badr occurred. Her husband
ended up participating in the battle against the Muslims and Zaynab
feared this. She kept crying out: “O Allah, I fear one day the sun may
rise and my children become orphans or I lose my father”.
When the battle ended, Abu' Al Aas was captured by the Muslims and the
news reached Zaynab. Upon hearing of his capture, she immediately out of
her love decided to release him. She did not own anything of much value
so she took out her necklace that her mother Khadija radiallahu anha
had given her when she became a bride in order to release him. When this
necklace was taken back to the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam He
was overcome with emotions. This was Khadija's, his beloved wife's
necklace. He asked: "Whose payment is this?" They said: "Abu Al Aas ibn
Rabee". He cried and said "This is Khadeeja's necklace". He then took
permission from them asking Abu Al Aas to be released without accepting
the necklace as a ransom. The people agreed off course because they knew
who Abu Al Aas was. They knew whose necklace it was. They knew who
Khadija radiallahu anha was and they knew who Abu al Aas was to
Zaynab radiallahu anha.
After this incident, the verses were revealed regarding the command of
separating between a Muslim from a non believer and thus Zaynab was now
instructed to leave Abu Al Aas and divorce him. Although she insisted he
became Muslim, he refused and they departed. At this point then, when
there was a clear indication of a prohibition, such love was not to be
acted upon because of the issues of Haram and legal injunctions that
were now involved. The Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam at this point
was strict because now it involved the displeasure of Allah if they were
to continue to live together because of this love.
After 6 years, Abu Al Aas was traveling in a caravan from Makkah to
Syria and his caravan was captured by the Muslims. He fled and sought
refuge in Zaynab's house. Zaynab radiallahu anha then informs the
Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam that she is given freedom to Abu Al
Aas.
Turning to his companions, the Prophet asked "Have you heard what I
heard?" They all said, "Yes, messenger of Allah". Indicating that he did
not know that Abu Al Aas had fled to Zaynab's house and that she had
granted him protection. He did not want people to think that he was
allowing a non believer to stay with his daughter or favoring her when
verses had been revealed against it. He warned his daughter not to go
near him. He said, "Don't let him get near you, he is prohibited for
you." Zaynab radiallahu anha understood this and did not let her love
for Abu Al Aas turn to an unlawful act.
After her husband observed the life of Madina, the people of Madina and
the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam, it influenced and changed his
heart. He left to Makkah to wrap up unfinished business and returned to
Madinah back to his beloved Zaynab. He, like a gentleman announced that
he became Muslim and asked for the hand of Zaynab in marriage. They were
then re married and lived happily. Unfortunately though, a year after
their marriage, Zaynab passed away. Abu Al Aas would cry so much that
the people saw the Prophet himself crying and trying to calm him down.
Abu Al Aas would say, “By Allah, I can’t stand life anymore without
Zainab". He died one year after Zaynab's death. Such was their love for
one another.
From these examples, we learn that the Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam as well as the companions understood this genuine feeling of
love even before marriage provided that it did not translate into an
unlawful practice. And when it started to become something unlawful as
in the case of Abu Al Aas staying with Zaynab radiallahu anha when he
was a non believer, then the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam condemned
and strictly forbade this. Those that were in love were not chastised
or ridiculed for having these feelings by the Prophet salallahu aleyhi
wasallam nor the Medinan society.
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